How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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