Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
birth control should be required to get into college
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
