The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
