i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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