I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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