Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
