I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
