If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
