Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
