I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
