My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Found the puke drawer
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
