she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
