physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
