if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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