Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
