Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
