Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire

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(740): View more from Ohio

Are my feet made of real feet?

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(303): View more from Colorado

high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.

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(720): View more from Colorado

I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis

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(812): View more from Indiana

He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.

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(253): View more from Washington

Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?

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