you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
