So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize