I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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