You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
