Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
