we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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