I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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