I'm lost and stupid without you.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
