She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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