Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
