ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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