so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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