drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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