so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
