at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
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