he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
