I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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