So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
