Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just found puke in my bra..
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
