so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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