Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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