can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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