What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
