so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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