Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
