ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
