but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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