youre lurking in front of me
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
