god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
