I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize