white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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