Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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