3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
