She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
