so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
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