i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
