Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
