i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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