we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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