ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
