hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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