Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
