I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
