I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
